My life

new...

i've just done something to myself and i know a lot of people will not understand of why i did it.. well i don't owe an explanation to someone. I'm just afraid of how people would react when they'll see me. Most probably some will be shocked and will criticize me. I just hope that still majority will be happy for me. To tell you guys, what i did was a hard decision because a part of me will be lost, my identity. I had thought about it for a million times.. hope everybody will still accept me..

just thinking...

it's been almost a month that i'm here in davao.. the weather is not really bad as what i expected before i leave NZ. It seldom rain here but the heat is tolerable.. To my surprise i could now go out without taking my umbrella with me. Traffic is still a major pain in everyone's ass.. Maybe it's a good indicator that majority of Filipinos do own a car.. or the number of public vehicles have increased?? ( i think it's the latter)..
Aside from the traffic, accomodation in davao is hard to find.. every hotels here are fully booked.. Imagine it took me three weeks before i've settled to the last hotel i've found which was not full at that time. Davao has improved a little than what it was two years ago. But still it's undeniable that a vast number of Davaowenos are fighting with poverty everyday. It breaks my heart everytime i see  skeletal looking vendors at the street. It makes me wonder how are they going to meet their day needs if they're earning so little specially now that all prices have gone up..it's Only them know..
On the other hand, thu Davao is struggling with poverty  still malls are still the major place to hang out.. Malls are always full with people everyday. there are still many people who buy branded things, which to everybody's knowledge, are so dear. Perhaps this only shows that there are still many well of people in my place.

Lastly, whatever is davao's condition.. am happy to be back.. I enjoy buying and eating street foods. I am having fun riding on  jeepneys and tricycles. I love going to eat all you can restaurant and stuff my self with Filipino dishes.. Am doing these stuffs with friends or alone(if my friends are busy).. love to be home but i also know that these things are all short live since my work is waiting for me  in NZ(my second home)>.

thoughts... and nothing else..

i am supposed to be working this morning but i am so damn tired so i rang my facility and told them i couldn't work. I drove my boyfriend to his work and went to pack and save to buy some stuffs. Right now am not really doin anything important.. am just browsing the net, checking out some of my friend's friendster account.. It's kinda amazing and surprising at the same time that most of my classmates in college before are no longer in the phillippines.. some of them went to Middle east while others went to America, NZ, Canada and other western countries. It's kinda sad to know that after college life will never be the same again.. In college we don't have to think of workin our damn best or getting a good job that would provide us a secure financial status, all we thought and cared about before was how to pass all our subjects. Surely college life was a lot of fun than life after it. I really miss those time but like what my friend told me it's the reality that we have to live.  And one part of living life is to go back home and be with your family.. (lol).. so that's what am doin.. i mean am planning to do.. am a bit excited to go home( i know i am very excited not just a bit but am trying not to expect too much, i might be disappointed on the outcome)..i would make sure that i'll enjoy it to bits because there'll be no goin home in the next five years. That's what i've promised to myself.. Right now am also listing all the things i've to do when i get home. I have to make it sure that my trip isn't just merely for fun but with purpose as well.

latest..

ive been planning to write somethng inspiring on this blog.. Like fun things, excitng or news things ive been doin lately but i just couldnt keep my mind on d right track.. Ive been very busy but at the same bored to death lately.. So means to say i cud never come up wid smtng intrestng to write bout..
Anyway to kip u guys updated with wats happenin in my life now, i think i might have to write somethin here..

What am i doin these days? Well except frm work nothn really.. I spend most of my time watchn television.. Mind u guys am becoming addicted to disney channel.. I watch all its shows over and over again.. I dont really know why but a part of me is still a kid.. Ask me if i go out often? Nt really.. I just dont feel like
goin out and hanging with friends.. And my bf works pm shift and i work most of the time in the morning so by the time am at home he's already workin.. Its kinda lonely to spend most of the time alone but am startng to get use to it.. I learned to embrace loneliness, aftr all d only person i could rely on solidly is myself..

Right now am very excited for july to come.. Am so ready to take some time off frm work and head home.. I really nid a break.. There are lots of things ive to do.. And beside frm that, i would like to hang out with some of my college friends.. I miss them so much..

ive never thought that i'll reach to the point where am totally and absolutely clueless of what's next.. Am stuck to something i dont want.. I know i've been saying this thing in a gazillion times..( must be that plenty!)..
One thing i don't like is when people ask me what are my plans. I don't knw but i can't help not to question their sincerity. Sometimes it looks like their just being nossy and they don't really give a damn care. Well not that i care of also. I also hate it when people have nothing to say except to ask me how am i? Again a question of sincerity arises. And i hate it more when i have to answer them wid am good or not too bad. In my mind these people dont reli even care if my life is in hell or if am in a catastrophic condition.
I cant help not to feel like throwing up
When i see my coleagues know it all faces. Am so fed up with them.
I know am not living a healthy life now. As u can see am complaining to0 much. Am nt saying am nt happy with my life, i just hope it could have been any better.
Would it be nice if i woke up one day in someone elses place. Hmmm.. Like il be one of the royal blood of monacco or the daughter of the richest man in the world.. THAT WOULD BE VErY GREAT!!

0

....tough situation...

it's half past ten in the evening already but i still can't sleep.. my mind is working too much, which my bf say are mostly nonsense things.. I don't really blame him for saying that, I know myself and knowing myself means i know I'm a certified freak and a worrier..
Last Saturday was almost the end of my life. I had a car accident ( a major one if I am to describe).. my car was totally crashed. To make the things worst I'm charged of reckless driving. Until now am still waiting for the subpoena, i will plead guilty and will go for diversion where I've to pay some amount of money. Terrible isn't it? I know. Well the only good thing which I'm very much thankful to God is, I'm still alive and not harmed.
It's 4 days ago but the event is still fresh in my mind.. I know I've to move on and live normally. My boyfriend forced me to drive again but in my opinion I don't think i could be able to drive a car ... I'm really scared but i don't want to be a burden to him. I don't want him to drive me to work or pick me up from work. It isn't fair.. The only good thing that resulted from the accident was i was off to work for four days which i really have to because my entire body was achingly sore.
I am really blessed to have loving friends who were so worried about me.. and most of all to have a really caring boyfriend..

untitled...

i've just checked my blogs and i was quiet amazed that some of my writings are so so decades ago.. so i decided that i have to do a lil bit of filtering with my blogs.. delete those unimportant ones and retain those writings which i think best suits the present time.. And i may need to update my blog also.. of all the things happened in my life there are plenty to write about.. i just don't know where to start and stop?? blah.. blah...

New year.. new life.. new debts.. new payslip..new friends.. (worst.. could also be new enemies).. seems like everything's new this year.. but still feels like it's still same old brand new meh.. nothing more nothing less.. i still don't know where am heading for.. still don't know what i want in life and obviously still clueless how to start my journey in making my dreams real.. damn!! life sometimes could be ridiculously funny..
Looking baCK to my life last year.. to how i did live my life in 2007 i would pretty say i was not living my life to the kind of life i wanted.. i had such a stagnant life.. and worst is i felt like i age 10 years more.. so after all my horoscope's prediction was not true after all.. gee...

this day is supposed to be fun.. work free day.. but am not having fun at all.. i just stay at home..enjoying myself's company.. hehe i. me and myself kind of thing.. well who could be having fun on a wednesday off when most of the people you know are busy working? ..  means to say no one is available to spend a time with you..i already drunk the 2.25liters of diet coke my bf bought me last night and ate most of the stuffs i bought in pack and save 2 days ago.. just to keep myself busy and be entertained.. grrrr.... this is what i hate on my off day.. there's nothing to do.. i don't want to end up cleaning the entire flat also.. too lazy for that.. and i already have a migraine due to oversleeping... i better tire myself in work than having this boring, unproductive day.. i plan to drive around the city but too thrifty to spend some dollars for gasoline.. hehe whatever.. am glad i only have this 1 day off and tomorrow i'll be back to work again..

damn..........

am back into writing again.. i don't know why but somehow if really feels good to just write.. letting your thoughts be expressed and be heard.. thu it's pointless really.. oh yuh.. it's past 8 o'clock already, i know i need a wee sleep because i'll be staying awake the whole night.. oh.. i hate nocturnal duty.. need to drink a full doze of coffee to keep me awake whole night.. Damn!!
duhhh... whatever... anyway got to go now.. am really tired.. i didn't realize that work without play really makes my life dull... grrr....